Suenos

The dreams have began. The dreams about Spain, that is. A couple nights ago I had my first dream about Spain. It was about my first day teaching. In the dream I was in the classroom and we were doing a listening activity. I was going to read a passage and then have the students listen to the same passage on a CD and they would have to answer some questions about it. I started reading the passage and was having the hardest time. I couldn't even read in English! I was just stuttering and stammering all over the place. I couldn't correctly say the words...I was confusing myself...becoming incredibly frustrated. I hadn't prepared myself enough and it was all too apparent. I felt like the worst teacher in the entire world. And it was only my first day.

Thank God it was a dream. I woke up and realized that the dreams had began again. I had some crazy dreams before the very first time I went to Spain. I remember having dreams about not being able to get my visa, forgetting my passport, losing my passport, missing my plane, getting lost in Spain, etc. I literally had a dream almost every night before I left for a month.

I have just come to accept this as a part of my life. Anytime anything important is going on in my life I start to have dreams. If everything is going smoothly (as in, I have nothing to worry about), I don't have dreams...at least dreams that I remember. But as soon as something starts to worry me, it shows up in my dreams. Sometimes I don't even realize that something is worrying me until I have a dream about it.

Before I came home in June, I had dreams about the trip home and me traveling to Dublin alone. I was so preoccupied with everything and how everything in my life would turn out. This must just be my way of working things out in my brain. Maybe I get so tired of trying to work it out while I am awake that I have to deal with it while asleep. Or maybe I am so worried that I can't even leave it alone long enough to sleep. It can become quite exhausting.

The good news is that I now have everything planned for my return. My parents and I will leave here on September 23 and drive to Salt Lake City. I will fly out the morning of September 24 and will arrive in Paris the next morning. I will then catch a train from Paris to Hendaye (on the French/Spanish border). From there, I will go to Irun and get the keys to my apartment! With the help of an amazing friend, I have found an apartment all for myself! I am so excited to have an apartment already waiting for me and not having to do the apartment search once again.

I will begin teaching a few days later and start everything all over again. It's been a good summer but I am ready to be back in Spain. I miss it so much. My Spanish certainly needs a boost. And I think my relationship with a certain Vasco will profit from me being in the same continent, country and town. How sweet it will be.